


The Odds In Favor

by orangeyhairedimmortal



Category: The Addams Family (Movies)
Genre: Awkward Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Gen, Gothic, Love Potion/Spell, Macabre, Odd, Other, Spells & Enchantments, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:35:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23885359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orangeyhairedimmortal/pseuds/orangeyhairedimmortal
Summary: It's a new Addams' family generation and there are more quirky, ooky, spooky, and cooky adventures to go on. Wednesday is all grown up and has married Joel Glicker, taking over the Addams estate after Gomez's untimely death. With their children following in her footsteps, what happens when Amanda Buckman's son, Bradley becomes the object of October's affection?
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Male Character, Wednesday Addams/Joel Glicker, amanda buckman/original male character
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44





	1. Happy Turkey Day

The moon was full and bright, illuminating the night sky as well as the large, dark and gloomy mansion below it. It was also Thanksgiving time, a time to have people come together and conduct camaraderie, food drives, and Black Friday. Except for the people in this particular mansion…

As the people for the food drives came up to the house, knocking on the door, they had no idea that there were people above them, looking down at them.

* * *

"This is my favorite time of year."

"Remember when we met?"

"Of course, I do… I could never forget that day…"

"You had your hair in braids then."

"You were so weak."

"You were so pale in the sunlight."

"You looked so frightened."

"You were so odd…"

"You were so _Jewish_ …"

"Mother, Father, can we do it now?"

The two turned as a lovely pale girl looked up at the devoted parents.

"Go ahead, October."

The girl gave a mischievous smirk and picked up a can of green beans. She lightly threw it up and caught it and then pulled back her arm. She looked over at her uncle.

"Are you ready, Uncle Pugsley?"

"I've got the turkey." He said, holding a huge uncooked turkey up.

October's father bent down and picked up a bow and arrow, handing it to his wife.

"To Camp Chipewa."

Wednesday reached into her bosom and grabbed matches, lighting them and then the end of the arrow.

"If Hell was an incarnation, it would be that place."

Joel smirked and let go of his wife as he pulled back the bow.

"To Gary and Becky Granger."

He pulled back the arrow and fired it down to the food drive people below as Pugsley threw the turkey and October threw cans of food at them.

Morticia looked on with a satisfied smile as she knitted in her chair. _Ah… a new Addams generation..._


	2. Electric

"My parents may be coming for a visit." Joel said, holding the cigar in his mouth by his teeth in his chair.

Wednesday, who was completing a circuit for the chair he was sitting in for her electrical experiment, sat up and looked at her husband.

"What do you mean?"

"They want to come see the kids. I told them that they shouldn't come but they insisted."

"After what happened with you father at the wedding, I thought they would never come back. I made sure the ant bed was positioned just right for his chair to be right over it and he would disturb the bed… I guess I didn't get the right sort of ants…" she said with a dissatisfied click of her tongue as she went back to the wires on the floor.

"Oh, no, they were the right ones. He went into anaphylactic shock, remember?" Wednesday grinned from where she was on the floor. "But he said that he thinks it was an honest mistake and would like to come and see the kids."

"Well, I haven't fed the Venus fly trap in a while…" she said, standing up and looking down at her husband. "Now, I need you to hold this fork for me."

"What are you doing?" he asked, with a bemused look.

"Well, it's an experiment, my love: is steel a better conductor or you?"

Joel sighed as Wednesday went to the large breaker and held the handle.

"Mother?"

Wednesday frowned and looked over at her daughter.

"Yes, October?"

"What are you doing to Father?"

"Just putting a little spark into the marriage…" she said with a wry smile.

Joel got up from the chair and went over to his daughter.

"What is it, honey?"

"I was wondering if I could go to the graveyard and play with Thing."

"Of course you can. Don't forget to take some salt with you. There are slugs all over your grandfather's grave again."

October smiled, skipping away as Wednesday stared at Joel again.

"Joel, please sit in the chair."

He headed back when the door opened again.

"Mother?"

Wednesday sighed and put her hand on her hip.

"What is it Eingelburt?"

The young boy in the striped shirt and black shorts looked at his mother with large glasses and held up a dead possum.

"I found this in the street. I was wondering if I could go and put this is Mrs. O'Neily's car across the street."

"Eingelburt, I'm surprised at you." Joel said. He put his cigar back in his mouth. "I would put it in the air duct of her house."

Eingelburt grinned and went off to go do what he was going to do. Joel looked at Wednesday and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her close.

" _Mon cher_ …"

"Stop it." she said stoically.

He pulled the cigar from his mouth and leaned into her, kissing her on her black covered lips anyway. He had gotten used to his new family's weird and odd ways of doing things. It was hard for him to understand Wednesday at first but after reading between the lines, he knew that there was a love there that only he could see. He was glad he was the special person to see in between her stoic nature and snarky sarcasm. After kissing her for a moment, he pulled back and then began to kiss her down into her bosom, where a small trap let loose on his lip.

He pulled back quickly and pulled the trap off, making a face at Wednesday. She shrugged.

"A booby trap…" he said, looking at the tiny trap. "I love the surprises you give me..."

Wednesday hadn't wanted to be with Joel but after he survived her first time of scaring him to death, she began to respect him more as a man as well as fitting into her family. It didn't take him long (to her surprise) to adjust to the Addams' way of thinking. Though he told them 'no séances', much to Grandmama's dismay, but she got him back with a potion of her own. When he proposed to her in the morgue of the hospital where Gomez had spent his last days, she knew he was the one for her. She had hoped for a cemetery but the morgue was a little more formal… and fresher.

"So when do your parents intend on coming?"

"This weekend."

"I'll make sure Mother makes Uncle Nick-Nack's vegetable soup." She said, heading toward the kitchen.

"Make sure Uncle Nick-Nack isn't in it this time!" Joel called out, sitting down in his chair and yelling.

He stood back up and found tacks sticking in his backside.

Wednesday only smiled on the stairwell, knowing her trick was done since he wouldn't stay still for the electrocution.

* * *

A couple days later as October sat in school, messing with her pen as she teacher rambled on about something when the door opened. The sudden quietness of her teacher made October look up.

"Class, I would like you to meet Bradley Buckman-Smythe; he'll be your new student as of today."

"Hey, nice to meet you all." He said with a wave.

October blinked and gripped her pen. _Blonde hair, great personality, tucked in shirt… the Devil._

"I'm sorry but we only have seats in the back. You can take whichever one you want." The teacher said, pointing.

October gripped the pen harder, looking at the back row. No one wanted to be friends with her, which she liked, and so the whole back row was available but there were two seats that were not next to her and two that were. She hoped this… demon, would pick one of those.

Luck was not with her.

Bradley sat next to the pale girl with two ponytails, like a girl from a horror movie, but his mother had always told him to make friends with everyone. He leaned over, holding out his hand.

"Hi, I'm Bradley, what's your name?"

October just looked at him with her eyes narrowed and took the pen she was gripping and slammed it into her notebook, the ink straw flying out the back of the pen from the force.

Bradley pulled his hand back and gulped. _What have I gotten myself into?_

October turned rigidly back to the front. _Spirits of darkness, help me._


	3. Krampus Gifts

"How was school today, October?" Joel asked as Morticia served dinner to him.

"All was well until a golden Devil appeared in the classroom and sat next to me."

"Oh, did you win something?" Wednesday asked, sipping the strange soup in her plate.

"No, Mother. It was a boy with blonde hair and blue eyes."

Wednesday blinked at her daughter.

"His family must be having troubles. Remember how Pubert got that when Uncle Fester left us for Debbie?" Wednesday asked Pugsley, who was sitting next to Eingelbert.

Pugsley looked up and nodded. "Yeah, it was pretty gross."

"So he's been afflicted with a disease?" October asked, curious.

"Not necessarily." Joel said, making a face at his wife. "He may just have blonde hair and blue eyes like other people."

"Well if he's diseased I would like to help him."

"Look what you did, Wednesday, you made her think he's got something."

Wednesday looked at Joel without expression until he got uncomfortable and then she turned back to her daughter.

"What's the diseased boy's name?"

"A revolting name, Mother, I can barely stand to tell it to you… It's Bradley Buckman-Smythe."

Wednesday dropped her fork in surprise.

" _Two_ last names?! Joel, we must let her transfer classes."

Joel sighed. "Wednesday, she won't get anything from him."

"Those with two last names are considered quite rich, mind you." Morticia said. "They can influence all sorts of people. Those are the ones to watch out for."

"You must ask to switch desks at once when you get back to school. No daughter of mine will sit next to a two-namer."

"You said Buckman? Wasn't that one girl at camp named Buckman?" Joel asked, putting his cigar in his mouth. "I remember tying someone up with that name…"

"The Pilgrim Sarah Miller." Wednesday said, picking up her fork.

"Isn't that the name of your book, Mother?" Eingelburt said, looking up at her.

Wednesday nodded. "Yes. How the Pilgrims should have been treated and what it would be like if Native Americans hadn't been suckered into small pox blankets. My best seller…"

"So tragically charming." Morticia said with a small smile.

"So, what should I do about Bradley?"

"You stay away from him and if you can't, at least try to cure him. No daughter of mine will be affected by a two-namer, a blonde one at that."

"I can give you a list of spells to help the poor boy."

"Thank, Grandmama."

_Yes! Spells!_

* * *

"Anyone know the answer to number four? October?"

October looked at the question in regards to the story of Saint Nicholas. She frowned at the jolly fat man depicted on the page and looked at the teacher.

"I can't answer that. I don't believe in Santa Claus."

"Well, no one else here does either, October, but this is in regards to Saint Nicholas, the originator of the modern Santa Claus."

"I told you, I don't believe in Santa Claus. I believe in the Krampus."

"The what?" the teacher said, taken off guard.

"The Krampus. He took the bad children to Hell on Christmas."

The class began to look at each other and murmur about October's proclamation and the teacher made the class quiet down.

"Alright then, Ms. Addams, please tell the class about this Krampus thing. I'd like to know more about it as well."

October moved her mouth to the side, not expecting to get much backup on the creature, but she didn't mind telling the idiots in her class about Krampus.

"Krampus is said to actually be a companion of Saint Nicholas and is a furred beast. He looks more like a goat with a scary face, sharp teeth and claws, and large horns sticking up from his face. While your Saint Nicholas was giving out gifts to the lovely children, he was directed Krampus to eat the others. And so, at night, while everyone was sleeping, children would be taken and thrown in sacks to be judged in the underworld."

"That's so scary! Why do you have to be so weird?" a girl said, looking at October.

"Why do you have to be so stupid?"

"Girls… Thank you, October, for that… uh… _lovely_ explanation of a Krampus."

October sat down and went back to doodling in her notebook when she felt someone tap her on the shoulder. She looked over as Bradley stared at her. She narrowed her eyes at him and pulled away.

"What?"

"That was pretty cool about the Krampus thing. I never knew that."

"That doesn't surprise me."

"Could you explain it more to me at lunch or something?"

"Can you explain why you think I want to talk to you?"

Bradley was a little taken aback by the harshness of October's words but put on his brave face and leaned toward her.

"My mother always told me to be nice to everyone… even weird pale freaks like you."

Though the words kind of stung, October didn't miss a beat.

"I was told to cast a spells on people who annoy me." She said stoically. "You wanna hear one?"

"No thanks."

"Then stop annoying me."

* * *

Bradley went home and dropped his backpack in the walkway of the house. Going to the kitchen to get a snack, he leaned against the counter and thought about October. She was such an odd girl but she intrigued him. He'd never heard of that crumpet thing. He went over to his laptop and typed in the word, reading about it. He wondered what kind of stuff she liked… It seemed like macabre and torturous stuff mostly…

"Bradley, is that you?"

"Yeah, Mom, it's me."

Amanda walked in and made a face at him, putting her hands on her hips.

"What are you reading?"

"Hmm? Oh, I'm reading about this thing called a Krampus. A girl in school told the class about it."

Amanda leaned across the couch to look at the article.

"What a gruesome creature. Was it for a report?"

"No, she told the teacher she didn't believe in Santa Claus and believed in the Krampus. She's really weird."

"Now, now, Bradley, we shouldn't make fun."

"I'm not being mean, Mom, it's just that she really is weird. She's as pale as a ghost with black hair and deep black eyes. She hates my guts and even threatened to put a spell on me today!"

Bradley's mother stopped in her tracks.

"A spell?"

"Yeah!"

"What is this girl's name?"

"Uh… October Addams."

Amanda made a face and leaned over the couch again, pulling the laptop shut.

"What did you do that for?!"

"Listen to me, Bradley, and listen well." She said, coming around the couch. "You know that book that I told you not to read? It was called The Pilgrim Sarah Miller?"

"Yeah, you said it was a porno book or something."

"Well, I lied about that, dear… You see, that book is actually about me and the character I played in a small play at an old camp called Camp Chipewa."

"Oh, you've talked about that place before. You and Dad used to go to it before it burnt down."

"Yes, well, the reason Camp Chipewa is no longer there is because this girl that you're sitting by, her mother burnt it down."

Bradley gave his mother a 'get real' look.

"Mom, just because she's weird and has the same last name as the author doesn't mean they are related."

"I'm telling you the truth. Wednesday Addams burnt Camp Chipewa to the ground and… and I was there. Where do you think I got these scars on my wrists from? That was from where I was trying to untie myself from a beam that I was tied too. That bitch put an apple in my mouth and then lit a match right in front of me, setting the kindling on fire under my feet! I didn't want you to have that book in the house and see what she had made of my humiliation and fears."

Bradley made a face at his mother again.

"Mom, it's just a coincidence, I'm telling you. I mean, seriously, the girl said she was going to put a spell on me. Like _that's_ for real…"

Bradley got up to put his backpack away before Amanda yelled at him when he saw a small piece of paper in his cup holder. He pulled it out and read the small note outloud.

" _Ad nigrum flavo, et loqueris ad pharmacopolam; a prima luce usque ad vesperam._ Huh… Someone must have accidentally stuck their Latin stuff in my bag. I'll take it tomorrow to give back."

He stuffed it back in his backpack and hummed on the way up the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh oh, it looks like someone slipped a little gift of their own into his backpack. idiot, everyone knows that if someone threatens you with a curse, most curses are in latin because it's the old language... so good job bradley. just like his mother haha


	4. As The Day Is Long

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you have to read the glickers like they sounded in the movie or it doesn't sound right  
> also, the latin doesn't really say that. when you translate it, it comes out saying that but its not that

Bradley woke up and yawned, getting up and going to the bathroom to do his morning routine. As he lazily went to the bathroom, he scratched his head and then turned to go into the bathroom. When he looked at the mirror, he had to do a double take and then looked behind him. He made a face and then looked back at the mirror. He realized that it was him in the mirror and then screamed but it wasn’t a scream.

“Quack.” He said, trying to say his name.

He gasped and looked at the mirror closer, his now black hair very unlike him. He tried to speak again but all that came out was another quack. He didn’t know what to do at all! Why was he quacking? Why was his hair black? What was going _on_? He breathed in and then remembered the paper he had found in his pocket. He quickly ran out and grabbed the paper and then turned on his laptop, going to a translation site to see exactly what the paper said.

When the sentence translated, he turned his head at the sentence.

_‘Yellow to black people, and speak to the pharmacy; from morning to evening’? What in the world does t **hat** mean?!_

“Bradley, are you up?”

Bradley went to say ‘yes’ but a loud quack came out instead and he slapped his hands over his mouth.

“Bradley? What in the world was that noise?”

He looked around frantically, trying to figure out what he could use to talk to his mother without opening his mouth. It finally dawned on him to text her and he sent the message. He quickly got ready for school, throwing a beanie onto is head immediately when Amanda walked in, looking concerned.

“Brad, what’s going on? Why did you text me?”

Bradley grabbed his phone and texted her again. She looked at it and frowned.

“You can’t speak? Why?” Bradley shrugged. “I think we should take you to the doctor.”

He shook his head firmly and texted her again. She read it and then sighed, pushing her blonde hair back behind her ear.

“Alright then… And why are you wearing a hat? It’s not that cold out today…”

Bradley shrugged and grabbed his wallet, throwing it in his pants pocket. He kissed Amanda on the cheek and headed out of the house.

* * *

Lurch drove the family car up to the school and stopped it. Joel let out a puff of smoke from his cigar and then placed it back between his teeth.

“Don’t forget that your grandparents are coming to the house this weekend. Remember, no bats this time.”

“Aw, Father…” October said with a small pout. “I thought it was funny.”

“Well, your grandmother didn’t and you know who gets chewed out? Me… They’re too afraid of your mother to say anything to her.” Joel said with a frown.

October sighed. “Alright then… what about spiders?”

“What kind of spider?” he said, pushing his glasses up.

“A tarantula.”

“Poisonous?”

“Not… really…”

Joel thought for a moment. “Where?”

“The bed, of course!” she said like it was obvious.

“Fine, that will do. But only once.”

October smirked and then kissed her father on the cheek. Lurch pulled away and October turned to go inside when she was grabbed by someone and pulled away from the sidewalk.

“I don’t believe in kidnapping until after the first date.” She growled, turning around.

Bradley blinked at her in confusion. He shook his head, ignoring her statement and then typed something into his phone.

**What the hell did you do to me?**

October read the message and then lifted a black eyebrow.

“Whatever do you mean?”

Bradley pulled the paper from his pocket and shoved it in her face. She took it and then her other eyebrow went up.

“What of it?”

**What does it mean?**

October handed it back to him. “I’m not taking Latin.”

**I know it was you! You threatened me yesterday with a spell and I’m not so stupid to not know that most spells are in Latin.**

“But you _are_ stupid enough to read it out loud?”

Bradley glared at her for a moment but she had a valid point. He clenched his fist and typed more.

**Fix it.**

“Can’t. It has to pass on its own.”

**How long will –that- be?**

“Who knows? It could be forever…” she said, walking away from him.

He was so frustrated that he let out a stream of curse words… only they were loud quacks. October had to keep herself from dying on the way to class. _I can’t believe that idiot read it out loud!_

* * *

All day, Bradley glared at October. They didn’t have many classes together but whenever she went to them, he would be there, glaring. When she walked out of the cafeteria, he was glaring at her then too. It didn’t matter where she was, if he could be in eye line of her, he was most likely glaring at her.

Finally, the last class of the day came, the one where they sat next to each other. October came in a little later than usual and found a note on her desk. She lifted an eyebrow and sat down, opening it. It was from Bradley and it hurt her to even look at his perfect handwriting but she read the note anyway.

_October,_

_I’ll find my own curse and inflict it on you. I have the Internet. I know it was you who slipped that note to me. Don’t mess with me because you don’t know who you’re dealing with._

She put her lips to the side and then crumbled the note. She chucked it at Bradley’s head as hard as she could and he looked at her but she was paying attention to the teacher, trying to look innocent. Bradley knew that October Addams was anything but.

* * *

When October got home, she saw the Buick in the driveway and groaned on the inside.

“What’s wrong?” Wednesday asked.

“Grandfather and Grandmother are here.”

“I understand the pain.” Wednesday said, flipping the page of the arrest book that she was looking at. She made a face. “Oh…”

“What is it?”

“They caught the peeping tom.” She said with a sigh. “I’ll miss him.”

“Mother?”

“Yes?”

“How did you know you liked Father?”

“When he said he’d die if his mother used fabric softener.” She looked up and smirked a little. “It was cute to think of that. Why do you ask?”

“I was just wondering… Did you feel anything when that happened?”

“That butterfly feeling only happens if you eat caterpillars, October.”

“I meant was there any other feelings? Like… satisfaction or were you anxious or anything?”

Wednesday looked at her daughter as the car finally stopped.

“This sounds like a conversation you should have with your father. He knows more about that romance stuff than I do.”

They got out of the car and October followed her mother inside the slightly renovated Addams home.

* * *

“Look at thes! Dust everywheya. Do you eva dust, Joel? Or does it mess up ya allagies like evera theng else? Es that why ya look like ya belong in a Mariachi band?”

“No, Ma, I grew my mustache because Wednesday likes it that way.”

“Are ya shoowa she didn’t draw it on theya with a marka? If I licked it, would it rub ooff?” Mrs. Glicker said, licking her thumb and going toward Joel.

The knight in the foyer’s axe suddenly came down between the two of them and Mrs. Glicker gasped, stepping back as a small giggle let out. Joel smiled and looked behind the knight to see Eingelbert. He motioned for him to come out and he stood beside his father.

“Oh jus look at hem! He’s grown so much since I last saw hem. Do ya rememba me?”

Eingelbert nodded as the door opened and Wednesday and October walked in.

“Oh, theya ya are, sweethooart. I was jus about to ask Joel wheya ya were.”

“Good to see you, as always.” Wednesday said with a small nod to her mother-in-law.

“Come heya and give me a hug! I haven’t seen ya in foreva!” Mrs. Glicker said, going up to Wednesday, who stepped back.

“I don’t hug.” She said stoically.

Mrs. Glicker put her arms down and looked at Joel.

“What’s this now? How come ya wife doesn’t hug? We hug, you hug, why can’t she hug?”

“Ma, she doesn’t like it. She doesn’t even hug _me_ and I’m her husband.”

“Then how do you two do anytheng romantic?” she asked, making a face at them.

“Oh, we’re all kinds of romantic.” Joel said, setting the record straight.

“And how can ya be if ya wife don’t hug?”

“I make him scream. That’s my joy.” Wednesday said, crossing her arms over her black leather bustier.

“Wenz…” Joel said with a face to her.

“What? She asked.”

“You make him scream? Why would you want that?”

“Because it gives me pleasure.”

“But what about hem? Does it give _hem_ pleasure? Do ya eva think about Joel?”

“Only when I remember he’s there.”

“Where’s Grandfather?” October asked, wanting to get to another topic.

“He’s unpacking the clothes. Oh, I didn’t even see you theya, Octy. Ya look beautiful, like ya motha. The light reflects ooff of ya just the same.”

October smiled and looked up at her mother, who was giving the Glickers the same disgusted look she usually gave them.

“We’re going to take you to a nice bistro tonight, Ma.” Joel said, grabbing her by the arm to escort her. “I think you’ll like it.”

“Will they have a brisket? Ya fatha can’t have that fancy stuff…”

October looked at her mother and Wednesday walked in the opposite direction.

“Where are you going?” October asked.

“To get the bats.”

“Father said no bats… I’m doing a spider later.”

“Bats are a must, my sweet.” Her mother said, ascending he stairs.


	5. The Bistro

That night, Bradley looked up all sorts of things to try and use on October. Nothing sounded good and a lot of them were kind of harsh. She didn’t hurt him or anything, just made his life a little hectic so he didn’t want anything bad to happen to her. There was a knock on the door and he turned around as Amanda walked in.

“How are you feeling?”

 **Fine. What’s up?** he texted.

“Your father is taking us to a bistro that he heard about from some colleagues of his. Will you be okay with going or do you need to stay home?”

Bradley thought for a moment and then grabbed his phone.

**I should be okay. I just won’t be able to say anything… and I have to wear this beanie.**

“But why? Is your hair falling out?”

Bradley smiled. **No… Just trust me, please?**

“Alright… well it’s a fancy place so if you can make that hat work with nice dress clothes…”

Bradley nodded and then sighed, putting his head on the keyboard. He didn’t know what to do! He kept quacking like a duck and his hair was pitch black! How was he supposed to do anything? How long would it last? _Why me?_ he thought to himself.

* * *

Eingelburt and October were on the roof, using two torches on the metal banister surrounding the top patio.

“How long do you think it will take to get Grandma and Grandpa out of the house?”

“Last time just the bats did it but I’m putting a spider in the bed tonight and Mother said she was going to use bats so… I hope maybe a day?”

“Yeah… I don’t like how she pinches my cheeks all the time and they’re kind of cheap.”

“Yup…” She wiggled the bar a little bit and looked at her brother. “I think mine’s thin enough, yours?”

“Yeah.”

“Good… Hey, Grandpa?! Can you come up here? There’s a great view from the top of the house to the lake!”

* * *

Wednesday undid her braid and let her hair hang down. It came to the middle of her back, not as long as her mother’s was but close enough. She slipped on her mother’s old black dress and went to the closet to find some shoes. Joel walked in, tying his tie and smiled at her as she searched for shoes.

“From behind it’s like looking at Mrs. Addams. It’s a little scary.”

“Then don’t think about my mother that way.” She said, standing up and putting her shoes on the bed. “Besides, it _was_ her dress…”

Joel smirked and went to the closet to get his jacket.

“Do you think Mom and Dad will like the bistro?”

“I have my doubts.”

Joel went to the window and opened it up, looking out toward town. He looked down and realized that the safety net wasn’t out and cranked the net out to its full capacity.

“Wednesday, did you pull in the safety net that’s around the top part of the house?”

“Maybe.”

The sound of screaming caught his attention when suddenly his father landed in the net and Joel yelled, flying back.

“DAD!”

Mr. Glicker moaned for a second and got out of the net, climbing into Joel’s bedroom. He leaned on his knees as Joel went back to the window and looked up to see what had happened.

“Dad, what’s going on? We jump off of the roof every other month.”

“Your children are from the Devil.”

“Yes, I paid him handsomely.” Wednesday said, sitting at her vanity to put makeup on.

“Aw, Dad, they were just having fun.”

“Fun? _Fun_?! Fun is playing piggybacks or a board game! Falling to your doom is _not fun_.”

“You got caught by the safety net!”

“Unfortunately.” Wednesday mumbled.

“See?! See?! This is exactly what your mother and I didn’t want for you. How can you be happy living with this stoic woman and children who act like little imps? You should have married a nice Jewish girl and things would have been perfect.”

“But I didn’t want to marry Esther, I wanted to marry Wednesday. I love Wednesday and she loves me. Right?”

“On occasion.” She said, putting black lipstick on.

“See?”

“See _what_? Joel, she doesn’t care for you at all.”

Wednesday finished her makeup and then got up, walking out of the room and Mr. Glicker looked at his son, putting his hands on his shoulders.

“Joel, why would you do this to yourself? She’s as loveable as a wall… why?”

Joel lit a cigar in his father’s face and blew smoke into it for good measure.

“You don’t know Wednesday Addams like I do. She’s got her quirks but if not for her quirks, I wouldn’t love her. And she _does_ love me, but she loves me like an Addams, not a Glicker. I would like for us to have a good time, Dad, so if you could keep your opinions to yourself about my wife and children, I’d greatly appreciate it.”

He walked away and breathed in deep, the first time ever facing his father so harshly. When he walked out, he was grabbed into a hallway and saw Wednesday was there.

“Wenz.”

“You were like an animal, trapped and confused. It excited me…”

“I do have to ask if you ever did love me, like really love me.”

“If I didn’t have affection for you, I wouldn’t have married you. Addams’ aren’t known for their stupidity, just their oddities. Now… I would like it if you would give me the pleasure of taming your animal.”

Joel grinned. “Whip or handcuffs this time?”

“I was thinking something a little bit different… but it will have to be after dinner. Pugsley is going to set it up for me with Thing’s help.”

“Does it have to do with electricity?”

“No… the circuits wouldn’t be able to take what I would like to do to you.”

“Hmm… Are you sure? Debbie left that electrocution ring down in the basement right?”

“Uncle Fester sold it except one for Dementia as a wedding present. I think Flora and Fauna took two and Cousin It took one as well.” She sighed. “What I could have done to you in that room.”

“Well, I’m anticipating what you have in store tonight.”

Wednesday smirked and squeezed his cheeks together.

* * *

“Matthew, what is this place?” Amanda asked as they looked around at the rock interior of the strange bistro.

“I… I honestly don’t know. I thought this was a regular bistro but I guess it’s something different. Do you want to go?”

“No… it might have some lovely dishes to choose from. Let’s just take a look and see if we like anything.”

Bradley looked around and thought about October, thinking that this was a place for her.

“Do they have brisket here?”

“No, Dad, they don’t have brisket. This is a fancy bistro so please don’t embarrass me.”

“Don’t tell ya fatha what ta do. You dragged hem to thes ooundaground cave dwelling so he can ask all the questions he wants.”

Bradley looked over at the table that seemed to have the loudest people and did a double take. Two pale girls were sitting there, one older and the other looked just like October.

“Octy, will ya please get a waiter for us? I don’t wanna be hea that long.”

“I’m sorry, Grandma, but we have to wait for them.”

“The service is horrible already.”

Bradley watched as the girl sighed and looked away and his eyes widened when it was who he thought it was. He got up without warning and headed across the bistro to October’s table.

* * *

As her grandparents fought with her father, October looked up and saw Bradley walking toward her table.

“Mother, there is the two-namer from my class.”

Wednesday looked over and lifted an eyebrow.

“Oh?” She looked around Bradley and saw Amanda sitting there and couldn’t resist. “I think I’ll have a chat with his parents.”

October was going to say something but Wednesday was already gone as Bradley walked up. She crossed her arms when he held out is phone to her. She tried to ignore it but he urged her to take it. She took it and read over it.

**Your mother wrote a book called “The Pilgrim Sarah Miller” right?**

“Yeah…”

He typed on his phone again and held it out.

**Will you let me borrow it?**

October blinked when a scream let out and the two looked over as Amanda stared at Wednesday, who was walking toward her with one of the candles in hand.

Bradley held out his phone to October.

**You wanna go get some McDonald’s?**


	6. Ordering

October looked up at Bradley and blinked at him.

“You must be joking?”

 **I assure you, I’m not. Our parents look like they will fight.** he said, holding the phone out.

October looked over at where Amanda had grabbed a fork and was holding it toward Wednesday.

“Your mother is a wimp.”

**Yeah well, your mother scared the shit out of her at that camp. Come on, Mccy D’s is across the way. Maybe you can take this curse off me, yah?**

“Nice try… What’s a McDonald anyway? Does the farmer own it?”

**What farmer?**

“That stupid nursery rhyme parents sing as if children care about an old man making a living.”

Bradley couldn’t keep himself from laughing and then he laughed (embarrassed) that he sounded like Donald Duck laughing because of him having to talk like a duck. October watched him and he finally calmed down.

**No way! This is a different place altogether… Come on and I’ll show you.**

October didn’t really want to go anywhere with the two-namer but she saw that things were going from bad to worse between their mothers and Joel was trying to convince his parents not to get up and leave since they didn’t see any brisket on the menu. She looked over at Eingelbert but he seemed enthralled with the fight between her father and grandparents and decided that things might be easier at the farmer’s restaurant.

“Fine…”

Bradley nodded and they left the bistro.

* * *

“I didn’t think a farmer would have such an odd mascot for his restaurant. The farmer must have a secretly demented soul as to think children _enjoy_ such things as these.”

Bradley lifted an eyebrow. **That’s Ronald McDonald.**

“Ronald you say? I didn’t think the farmer had a name… I don’t recall a mention of him dressing like such a ridiculous bedtime clown in that silly prattle you people call a nursery rhyme.”

**I told you that this place has nothing to do with that.**

October wasn’t so sure but made a face at the clown and was dragged into McDonald’s. She looked around and made a disgusted face at where she was.

“I would not have expected this from you. I’m actually flattered.”

**What?**

“I was a little confused at first but now I understand. This is a place where demented clowns serve children.” She said as she nodded her head.

Bradley pursed his lips together angrily and tapped on his phone quite hard in agitation.

**For the last time, there are no demented clowns! I’m not even sure how to take that response because it could go two ways… It’s not the best but it’s better than what was going on over at the bistro. I want the #5 with a coke.**

“Do I count to five and ask?”

**Pick a number and they give you food. Hurry, I’m starving.**

He pushed October up to the register and the lady looked at her weird.

“Halloween is two months from now, you know that right?”

“Yes, I’m preparing for it in advance. Do you enjoy All Hallow’s Eve as well?”

“I don’t know what that is but you should really hold off on the makeup until then.”

October lifted a black eyebrow and pointed to the menu.

“I want the fifth order and a soda. Give it to me.”

The girl blinked as October did the same.

“Is that it?” she said with a frown.

“What type of children do you serve exactly?”

“Uh, all kinds? What are you getting at?”

“Well, I see your demented clown but I don’t see any children on the menu. I assume the clown gives this grease soaked food to the children before devouring them, right?”

“That’ll be $7.75, you freak.” The lady growled.

October turned to Bradley. “I assume you brought money.”

Bradley rolled his eyes but pulled out a ten and handed it to her. She gave it to the lady and got the change as she was given a cup. October looked at it and then looked at the cashier.

“There is nothing in the cup. Are you that ignorant that you cannot fill this container with liquid?”

“Listen, weirdo, I’ve been here since four this morning because a coworker decided to skip out on their evening shift. I don’t have time to deal with sketchy people like you. You get the drinks over there,” she said, pointing. “And you wait for your order.”

October took the cup and walked over to Bradley.

**What was that about?**

“She is upset because she is working. She called me a weirdo and a freak. As much as I like the atmosphere of this place, I don’t’ think I will ever come here again.”

Bradley made a face as he went to get his drink and looked back at October, who had sat down. She seemed upset and he set his jaw, putting the lid on the cup. He sat across from her and typed on his phone.

**I’m sorry she called you those names.**

“It’s nothing, I’m used to it. My family isn’t exactly the most normal. Father is more normal than Mother but…”

Bradley was more surprised that October was showing any emotion at all than that there was possibly one sane person in her household. He could see she was very upset about what the woman called her and when his food was ready, he went up to the counter to get it.

“Oh, this was for you? Is that your girlfriend?”

Bradley pointed to his mouth and shook his head to let her know he couldn’t speak but smiled his winning grin and handed her a piece of paper into her hand. Thinking it was his number, she quickly opened the paper only to find what seemed like gibberish on it.

“ _Ad nigrum flavo, et loqueris ad pharmacopolam_? What’s this supposed to be? Maybe it’s a love note?”

Bradley just smirked and put his tray on the table. As a thought, he tried talking but it only made a quacking noise, startling October from her thoughts.

**Sorry… By the way, don’t worry about that girl. I took care of it.**

“Took care of what?”

He ignored her and began to eat his sandwich, feeling accomplished.

* * *

“I have to say that the bistro was perfect tonight.” Wednesday said as she let her dress fall about her ankles. “It was the most fun I’ve had in a long time.”

“I’m sure Amanda Buckman’s presence was part of that?”

“Indeed… I was unhappily surprised, though, to see October with that two-namer.”

“His name is Bradley and he seemed nice enough.”

“You were nice too.”

“I’m demented.”

“I made you that way.”

Joel laughed. “That’s very true. I would have never taken my parents to that bistro before I met you… That reminds me, wasn’t there something you wanted to do to me tonight?”

Wednesday smiled and let her hair down from her braid.

“That’s right, I owe you something devilish, don’t I?”

“Indeed. What was this special thing you had in mind?”

Wednesday walked over to the window and pulled in a small Venus fly trap and stood next to him in just her bra and panties. Joel lifted an eyebrow.

“Kinky…”

“What do you mean? I was just pulling these in from the chill.”

“Oh…” Joel looked away as he lit his cigar.

They suddenly heard a yell and they both turned to the door.

“What’s ya problem?” Mrs. Glicker growled.

“I don’t know, something is crawling... AAAAHHHHH!!!!”

“October’s spider was a nice touch.” Wednesday said, pulling out handcuffs. “ _Now_ I will show you what I have in store.”


	7. Darkness

“I don’t ever want to go near a place like that ever again, Matthew. Do you hear me? And you! You ran off somewhere.” Amanda growled, turning to Bradley.

“I-“ He gasped, happy his voice was back. “I just went to McDonald’s next door, that’s all.”

“Oh, good, you’re talking again.”

“Yeah, looks like it.”

Bradley ignored his parents talking in the front seat as he pondered all that had happened that night. Although October’s mother scaring her half to death was kind of funny, the weirdest thing about the night was that October had feelings. Not that he didn’t think she did, but he thought for a while that she was a stoic bitch. Seeing her saddened by what the woman had said made him see October in a new kind of light. Although she was a little cooky and quirky, she was somehow delightful. She was a good, strange breath of fresh air for Bradley.

“I can’t believe Glicker _actually_ married her and they produced a new breed.” Matthew said. “I remember him when he was the odd man out at camp.”

“He didn’t seem too bad.” Bradley said from the backseat.

“ _He’s_ not the problem. It’s that family he married into. Bradley,” Amanda turned to him and looked at him gravely, her blue eyes staring into his. “I want you to stay away from them. They’re evil people.”

“They seem more like the type to not hold anything back.”

“How do you mean?” Matthew asked his son.

“Well… Take for instance, Mom and the Camp Chippewa thing. You got on Mrs. Glicker’s nerves so she waited for the right moment to attack, so to say. They were forced to do things they didn’t want by both family and the camp councilors, so they got rid of the camp. They seem more… absolute about things.”

“Do we need to take you back to private school?” Amanda asked.

“What? No, why?”

“What your mother is saying, is that there is no excuse for what happened to good ole Chippewa. Technically, they committed at least three or four serious charges. Arson, stolen property, attempted murder, driving without a license…”

Bradley lifted his eyebrow at that one.

“No matter. No son of mine will be around an Addams.”

Bradley crossed his arms in the back of the Buick and sighed. _Good thing I didn’t tell them she’s in my class._

* * *

Wednesday sipped some tea as she watched the Glickers throw their bags into the back of their car. Joel was talking to them but whatever he was saying, it looked like they were going to have no part of it. Mrs. Glicker turned to her son and was saying something, pointing at him. They all looked up at Wednesday in the window and she lifted her cup as a farewell. Mrs. Glicker spun around and the two climbed into the car. If the two had turned around, they would have seen Wednesday grin for the first time in decades, her white smile reflected in the moonlight.

* * *

The next day, Bradley was startled by a book being slammed onto his desk. He looked up as October looked down at him.

“You requested to read this.”

Bradley looked at it and saw that it was **The Pilgrim Sarah Miller** and looked over at October as she sat down.

“Thanks… You look tired.”

“I was up all night.”

“Looking for this?” he asked, holding up the book.

“What? No, I was oiling the stairs.”

“Oiling the… stairs?”

“Yes.”

“…What for?”

“To oil them, of course.”

“But why in the middle of the night?”

“To make them slippery.”

“Wouldn’t that make someone fall and break their neck?”

“That _is_ the idea.”

Bradley blinked. “Why would you want to do that?”

“Well, trying to get my grandparents out of the house takes a bit of ingenuity. We tried bats, a tarantula, having Grandfather fall off the roof… Oiling the stairs seemed to do the trick and they left in the middle of the night.”

“Wait, were you trying to _kill_ your grandparents?”

“Of course not, that would be extreme.”

Bradley made a face of confusion at her.

“I’m a little confused.”

“As you would be. That reminds me, have you been cursed since you were born or did it happen recently?”

“Huh?”

“Blonde hair, blue eyes, dimples. You’re obviously cursed.”

“Wh- No! People naturally have this hair and eye coloring, you know.”

“Hmm...”

Bradley made a face when the bell rang and he delved into the book he was given.

* * *

By the time lunch was around, Bradley couldn’t put the book down. It was _amazing_! He would have never suspected that October’s mother could make such an awesome story and the fact that his own mother was part of the masterpiece…

“I’m surprised you like it.” October asked, walking to his table.

“This is awesome! Have you read it?”

“Yes.”

“Your mom is a great author.”

“She’s is working on another called **Black Widow Lover** , it’s about her babysitter when she was younger.”

“You guys are… odd.”

“We get that a lot.”

Bradley closed the book and looked at her as she sat down.

“Why are you like that? I mean, what makes you guys so demented?”

“I wouldn’t say demented, more like boundless.”

“Boundless?”

“Why waste life trying to be something you are not? What difference will it make in the world? If I am strange but I’m not hurting anyone, then why can’t I be strange? I don’t want to come here and be like you, two-namer, flaunting my status to make people think I’m happy.”

Bradley frowned. “What makes you think I’m not?”

“I sense something in you. You are odder than you think.”

“And what proof do you have?!”

“Why haven’t you taken your hat off?”

“Huh?”

“The spell is done. So, why do you have it on?”

“I got used to it, I guess.”

“You don’t get used to a hat that quickly.” October reached over the table and snatched it off. “It’s because even though the spell is gone, your hair hasn’t turned back.”

“What of it? Maybe I liked it and did it myself.”

“You have a darkness in you that needs to be recognized.”

October smiled and it was genuine. She leaned over and surprised Bradley with a kiss on the cheek.

“Although a two-namer, your darkness is appealing to me. I plan to _harvest_ it.” she whispered into his ear.

With that, she left, leaving Bradley dumbfounded and slightly turned on.


	8. Be Enguarde

After October told Bradley that he had a darkness in him, he had wondered about it ever since. He finished Wednesday’s book and gave it back to October but other than that, the two hadn’t talked. Bradley had been thinking about what October had said and didn’t want to be bothered with anything. He didn’t talk to October or any of his other friends, just thinking about what she could mean by saying he had a darkness. He finally showed Amanda his hair and she made a fuss about it but eventually got used to it. Eventually, he decided that he needed to get a little clarity or at least figure himself out and so he made a resolve.

* * *

Bradley looked at the cast iron gate in front of him and then back down at the piece of paper in his hands. He looked at the plaque and saw where it said ADDAMS on it. He made a face and tried to find a button to ask to come in when the gate swung open automatically. He blinked at it and walked down the path toward the large gothic house that loomed on the large property. As he walked along, he could see a cemetery on one side of the house and saw another house a long way off that seemed to be overgrown with vines. He lifted an eyebrow at it but ventured on down the gravel toward the front of the house and up to the door, looking at the black Model T in the driveway. He knocked on the door knockers and waited.

The door opened and Lurch looked down. Bradley had been looking around and so when he looked in he gasped in fright at the large man.

“Oh, Jesus… Um… This is the Addams' residence right? Like October… um…”

Lurch just stared at him and then moved to the side, making a moaning noise as he did. Bradley stepped into the decrepit house and was met with the large staircase. Lurch just walked past him and went off to do some other things by himself. Bradley looked around at all the strange things when he heard something rolling across the floor. He looked up the hallway and gawked at Thing as he scooted his way on a skate down the hallway. Thing was moving it with a finger and then sailed in front of Bradley on toward the other hallway.

“What a crazy place…” he said, wondering what he was supposed to do.

He decided that maybe he should just stay where he was when he heard the sound of swordfighting.

“You think you can defeat me?” a male voice said.

“You dare talk to my sister in such a manner?” another voice said.

“I can take care of myself.” A female voice said.

“Watch out, Mother!”

“Eingelbert, be a dear and trip your father.”

“Don’t listen to her. Whose side are you on?”

“Neither side because he’s on _mine_! Ha!”

Bradley lifted an eyebrow as the sword fighting got closer.

“Face it, my love, you are much better at archery than at sword craft. I will defeat you both and then you can both dredge the underground tunnel.”

“Damn the tunnel! I didn’t come over for chores, dear sister!”

“Father, watch the stairs.”

Suddenly a man came tumbling down the top half of the stairwell and Bradley made a noise, running up the first half to the man on the floor.

“Dude, are you alright?”

The man with the pencil thin mustache shook his head and popped back up like he hadn’t just fallen down a flight of wooden stairs. He whipped his fencing sword around and stuck it into the ground at his feet.

“Splendid. You’re new.” He said, adjusting his glasses.

“I’m Bradley… I came to see October…”

“Hmm. The two-namer. Duck.” He said, pulling Bradley down as a flaming arrow flew down the stairwell and stuck into the wall.

A lithe man with the same mustache as the man in front of Bradley ran to the top of the stairs and snapped his fingers.

“Damn, I missed.”

“Well tried, young Pubert, but your aim is shabby. I suggest you take archery lessons.”

“Don’t be too hard on him, Joel, he took his lessons from Pugsley.” The beautiful pale woman from the bistro said, walking up beside this Pubert guy. “But we now have to trapped, dear husband. Unless that repulsive statue is going to be your partner?”

“Statue?” Joel said, looking at Bradley.

“Repulsive?” Bradley said to the woman.

The woman suddenly slipped and seemed to fall down the stairs as well but ended up back flipping onto the landing instead.

“Damn again!” Pubert said.

“Your betrayal is expected, dear brother. I never took you for having a partner.”

“I’ve grown up, Wednesday. I can murder people on my own and everything.” He said, pointing to himself. “I’ve been acquitted.”

“Ah, like dear old Dad…”

Bradley just stared at them in horror when October and a younger boy ran up to them.

“Mother, I’ve- Bradley?” she said, looking very shocked.

He waved a little as Wednesday turned to him, lifting a black eyebrow at him. She directed her epée so that the end was under Bradley’s chin.

“What keeps me from running you through?”

“Uh, I have a family.”

“So do bugs but that doesn’t stop people from killing them when they intrude.”

“I was let in by Frankenstein.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Pubert said, pulling out a cigar as he walked down the stairs. “Frankenstein’s monster couldn’t possibly be a butler.”

“He’s right.” Joel said, lighting both his and Pubert’s cigars. “Terrorizing people is too demanding a job. He couldn’t possibly stop and serve as a butler. That would be taking away from the people of Germany.”

“They don’t have enough serial monster killers there as I would have liked.” Wednesday said with a small shrug.

“Uh…”

“Come on, Bradley…” October said, walking down the stairs and grabbing Bradley’s hand. “Tell me who wins!”

The three adults looked at each other and then all got on their guard at once.

* * *

“What the hell is going on in there?”

“They were divvying chores.”

“By almost killing each other? Your dad fell down a flight of stairs! Doesn’t he need some medical attention?”

“No, he’s been scared to death twice so he’s pretty fit. Mother has also been trying to electrocute him for the past couple of years now but it seems like she can never get the chance.”

Bradley just stared at her with his mouth open and she blinked at him.

“What?”

“My mom was right… You guys are crazy.”

“Unstable, probably, but not crazy. Besides, you literally stepped into it. Why are you here?”

“I was trying to figure out how ‘dark’ I was but I think I figured it out myself.”

October suddenly pushed him as another flaming arrow flew past them and all three adults fell down the stairs.

“That oil was strong…” October muttered.

“So it was _your_ doing?”

“Remember, I oiled the stairs.”

“Well done, October!” Joel yelled from the pileup, holding up his epee.

“I’m just going to go. This got weirder than I wanted.”

“Come now,” Wednesday said, standing up from the pile up and stabbing her epee down, hitting someone. “Do stay for dinner. We’re having chicken and fingers tonight.”

“Don’t you mean _chicken fingers_?”

“Did I?” Wednesday asked, lifting an eyebrow.

Bradley regretted coming over.

**Author's Note:**

> i have always wanted to do an addams family fanfic with wednesday and joel as parents. i will try not to make them just like gomez and morticia but i want the same quirkiness to remain.


End file.
